You enter the door seemingly carved into the trees spine…


Is anyone…? Um. Oh?

Is… is that? Oh, greetings! I wasn’t sure if you were actually here or not. Gosh, look how small you are, indeed. Oh no no! J don’t mean like that, of course… I mean in comparison to, well, everything! Just look around you; look outside; look up into the sky. Can’t you see? Don’t you get it? It’s not important anyway, noone ever really gets it. 

So tell me! How are you? We hardly speak nor see eachother anymore, granted that’s my fault… Well go on, tell me how you’ve been feeling recen- uh. That’s… You’re thinking of a problem aren’t you. You know, I really couldn’t give a toss. Not in a mean way, mind, just… You’re so bloody small! I hope to God you get that someday since its not like this ‘being this tiny thing in such a large universe’ concept is an incredibly commonly used anecdote or anything. I’m not surprised you don’t really care about it. Noone ever does at first. Well, the first few times you start having visions of your perfect future all because you feel as though your mind has been split open and filled with knowledge, but that never lasts more than an hour. You’ve just got to be feisty about it. Just stick your fingers up and yell “Fuck you problems!” 

Well, actually you probably shouldnt. There’s most likely people within earshot. And don’t be that smartass who is all “but people being within earshot is a problem which means I should do it. Muewww mueeewwww mueeeeeewwwwwwww”. You know what problems I’m talking about you tit. You’re hardlylistening to me because you wish you had a lollipop. Though, a lolly would be pretty dapper right around now. Would a lolly taste better if it had ketchup on it? Oh no no no why would I think of that, Jesus’s nipple tassels, that’s horrible! Now that’s a problem I can happily say ‘fuck off’ to. 

So anyway, what brings you here?

Oh. I’m all out of heroine, but I can throw in a free taster session of some cocaine if you buy this tin of cannabis.

Normally I’d Scream, But It’s Very Late

So I’m going to do just that.


And as such, my scream has ended. Thank you for witnessing it.


So, why am I screaming?

It’s because my comments have a spam filter, and I’ve only just realised that not a single comment has been able to get through it. I am so sorry, and I’m going to say a quick thing.

Thank you for being so nice, you all really are. I started this blog not expecting anyone other than my future self to read it, and I’ve already beaten that goal. You’re amazing.

Some people have asked how I made this blog? I picked a theme I liked. I haven’t paid for anything, this blog was completely free to make, and as such I am sure that you can do just as well, if not better. I’d give you tips, but I have no idea whatsoever. I just hit the buttons and went for a grey colour scheme because grey goes well with every colour. The red was because my name is Ruby, so I guess you could pick things that are personal? I’ve seen people use the colour yellow because it is a colour which makes you happy. I’ve seen food blogs which are orange because that colour makes you hungry. I mean, have you seen Nando’s? Everything is orange, but it isn’t at the same time. It must be orange tinted lights or something, since everything is seemingly made out of wood. It’s quite something. Something I don’t do is use pictures very often, it at all. Try that out! That’s the best way to make it personal. The blog doesn’t need to look pretty, it just needs to represent you! Go nuts! Be unique! If you’re interesting in some way then make your blog also interesting in some way! Try spamming exclamation marks, that seems to work for some people! Flick through thousands of blog sites if you have to until certain things from each of them start to stand out to you, maybe you’ll find something that even I missed. But, most importantly, just get a move on! Having a blog which you think looks bad shouldn’t stop you from posting, just go post! Worry about how it looks later. Most people don’t write the title of their post until they finish writing their adventure. Even then, if you don’t know what to write, then there are thousands of places you can go! Just type into Tumblr “writing prompt” and you’ll be off in no time! I always save any ideas that come to me as drafts on here so that I don’t ever open up WordPress and have to stare at it for ages wondering what to write. Perhaps spend a couple of minutes writing down as many ideas as you can. You could even use a random number generator to pick through your drafts, I’ve done that before. Alright… granted I ignored what number they said and chose a draft myself but it’s still possible! Just… I don’t know! Get a move on!

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

Your Hands…

…put them out in front of you. Make sure your palms are facing towards you, and your fingers are spread. On your left hand only, join your smallest finger and your ring finger, so that those are the only fingers which are touching. Place these two fingers in between the smallest finger and ring finger of your right hand, so that your smallest finger on your right hand is in front, and your ring finger is behind the pair, and then locking them in place by closing your right hand’s ring and middle fingers on top of them. Take the index finger of your right hand, and place it underneath your left hand’s ring finger, so that it is touching both your left hand’s ring and smallest fingers. Making sure the smallest finger of your right hand is stretched outwards still, place the middle finger from your left hand on top of it, and your left hands index finger underneath it. With both hands, join the index finger with the thumb of the same hand, and make all four parts touch in the middle, rotating your hands inwards.

This helps me sometimes; maybe it will help you.

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :