You enter the door seemingly carved into the trees spine…

Hello?

Is anyone…? Um. Oh?

Is… is that? Oh, greetings! I wasn’t sure if you were actually here or not. Gosh, look how small you are, indeed. Oh no no! J don’t mean like that, of course… I mean in comparison to, well, everything! Just look around you; look outside; look up into the sky. Can’t you see? Don’t you get it? It’s not important anyway, noone ever really gets it. 

So tell me! How are you? We hardly speak nor see eachother anymore, granted that’s my fault… Well go on, tell me how you’ve been feeling recen- uh. That’s… You’re thinking of a problem aren’t you. You know, I really couldn’t give a toss. Not in a mean way, mind, just… You’re so bloody small! I hope to God you get that someday since its not like this ‘being this tiny thing in such a large universe’ concept is an incredibly commonly used anecdote or anything. I’m not surprised you don’t really care about it. Noone ever does at first. Well, the first few times you start having visions of your perfect future all because you feel as though your mind has been split open and filled with knowledge, but that never lasts more than an hour. You’ve just got to be feisty about it. Just stick your fingers up and yell “Fuck you problems!” 

Well, actually you probably shouldnt. There’s most likely people within earshot. And don’t be that smartass who is all “but people being within earshot is a problem which means I should do it. Muewww mueeewwww mueeeeeewwwwwwww”. You know what problems I’m talking about you tit. You’re hardlylistening to me because you wish you had a lollipop. Though, a lolly would be pretty dapper right around now. Would a lolly taste better if it had ketchup on it? Oh no no no why would I think of that, Jesus’s nipple tassels, that’s horrible! Now that’s a problem I can happily say ‘fuck off’ to. 

So anyway, what brings you here?

Oh. I’m all out of heroine, but I can throw in a free taster session of some cocaine if you buy this tin of cannabis.

A Good Ol’ Natter

I revisited an old memory of mine, which I wished to share with you.

A few houses ago, yes it’s bad that I am able to say that, I used to be a weee weeeee lad. So weee that I used to do some of the stupidest things which nowadays would just make me start thinking over the entirety of my life. I assume you’re familiar with all of the things you keep in your bathroom, such as your shampoo, conditioner, face wash, shower gel, tomato sauce, mouthwash and toothpaste. Well, whenever the container they were in were nearly empty, I would take them and stash them all in my room (my mother was aware I did this, it wasn’t a secret) and wait for me to have collected a large quantity of them. Of course, I could have just taken full bottles, but I was a good child, so the ones I took were typically under half… maybe… Eventually, I would have built up so many different items where I was ready to do the next step. I would take a bowl and empty all of the containers into it. It doesn’t sound pretty, but it used to be a lot more fun than it seems. It was like I was some wizard conjuring and mixing this magnificent concoction which always used to end up looking like Angel Delight. Literally every time. I remember enjoying it also because it had a smell which was very significant to just that, in the way that I love the smell of Petrol, as it doesn’t smell like other things, whereas all flowers smell the same, let’s not lie to ourselves. Now that I think of it though, I probably shouldn’t have spent all my time smelling it. That might have been the cause of many existing problems now that I think about it. Oh no.

Let’s pretend this never happened.

 

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

2735

“When I first joined this company and I had two screens, people were like aww ooh someone’s fancy, and then now everyone has two screens.  So now I have six. So fuck you all. ”

Probably isn’t one of their most known quotes, but it still describes them pretty well. It was said by Monty Oum, probably most well known for RWBY, the anime show by Rooster Teeth. In short, though it never should be, he was an inspiration, and it was a shame that he passed away a few years ago.

Monty was always known for his efficiency whilst working at the company, as pointed out in the quote. He was one of the first few people to have multiple monitors within the company and they inspired the people around them to also be efficient. It’s commented upon that he was known for always having so many things going on at once, where he would be watching something on one monitor and creating something on the other. Even then, he was bound to have been working on seven different projects all at once.

It wasn’t only the multiple monitors that people decided to copy him on, as this was probably going to happen anyway since the uprising of technology. One of his quirks was at the microwave. He discovered that typing in 1:00 required 3 button presses, 1 0 and 0. Because of this, they started to do 0:60, as this was just 6 and 0 and gave the same effect. You’d think that it would stop there, but they went further. They did 0:55, so that it was the same button being pressed, thus raising the total efficiency by that fraction of a second.

Image result for monty oum signature

This is their signature. Even when you look at this, efficiency is showed, where the O is being used for both situations where it occurs in their name.

There are loads of tribute videos or writings or whatever out there, it’s worth looking at those if you’re interested. There isn’t really much I could say that would show how cool Monty was. He’s a great inspiration.

Love you Monty.

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

When Your Best Friend Gets You A Fidget Cube

*click*

*click*

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*tap*

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*puck*

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*puck*

*ting*

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Fuck I dropped it.

*tap*

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*click*

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I need to go shower, yet part of me wants to take it with me. I need help.

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

 

*click*

I Watched a Movie…

Probably a weird way to start this off but hey ho, it loops back around to the title eventually.

When my parents split up, though they are back together now, I used to spend every other weekend with my father. For most, this was probably a negative thing as there is typically one side of the family which you tend to lean towards more than the other, and after a while maybe you wish not to do this routine anymore, but nonetheless I enjoyed it, always looked forward to it and never regretted it. No, I’m not just saying that because my parents are together now… as they are never going to read this. Probably.

When I went to my fathers for the weekend, we used to go to a club lots, and basically drink until we were asked to leave. So, as a result of this, every night this happened, I would have to wander with my father back to our house, though it was always weirdly nice. Partly because he used to tell me their secrets and such, but let’s ignore that. It was during those times that I learnt to appreciate how things looked at night, how we were able to communicate thoughts through a simple glance, I learnt the phonetic alphabet, how to not get caught peeing in a bush… There was this one time, though. I believe we were discussing movies in general, though he said to me to not watch a certain movie. That it was a movie that really got to him every time and made them emotionally swell up. He told me never to watch it until, quite bluntly, he had died. I assume he doesn’t remember the conversation at all, or most of our conversations for that matter. Me being the immature person I was at the time decided to watch the movie without them.

It’s a good movie.

So I decided for some reason to watch the movie again today, as I couldn’t entirely remember it from that one time that I watched it. I make it sound like I’m going against his wishes, but believe me when I say he was drunk.

So, the movie is called Seven Pounds. You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s one of Will Smith’s less known titles, especially when people constantly confuse it with The Pursuit of Happyness. If you’re into sad stuff, for some weird reason, then go nuts and watch it.

 

: : Huge Spoiler Warning : :

The movie itself is called ‘Seven Pounds’ as a reference to ‘The Merchant of Venice’, by Shakespeare, in which someone must pay a pound of flesh when in debt. So, because of this, it shows that Will Smith’s character is in debt to seven people. Why seven? Well, that’s because the main character is the cause of a life-altering event, which cost seven people their lives, and so the movie is focused around the character helping seven people to make up for this (though this isn’t found out until the end of the movie). In order to help these seven new people, he dabbles in some illegal affairs, such as impersonation etc. The way in which he finally helps these people though is real ball kicker. The movie starts with Will’s character (Tim, though impersonated under the name of ‘Ben’) literally calling for an ambulance, for the suicide they are about to commit. It is then shown throughout the story of the movie what led him to this. The reason is because each of the seven people all needed something physical replaced, such as Tim’s brother’s lung, or Emily Posa’s heart. He commits suicide so that they can each get these pieces from him, and in return he can help pay his debt to the seven people he unintentionally killed in a car accident.

 

I’m not sure why my dad felt so connected with it, and to be honest it kind of worries me sometimes. I don’t like the movie, not because it’s poorly made, or it’s a bad story, I mean it as in it makes me incredibly sad, but I feel bad to say that I’m weirdly connected to it now.

 

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

I Deja You Too

Firstly, don’t get annoyed because I spelt deja vu without the fancy letters. I’m on my phone, in bed, at 3am; cut me some slack. 

On Saturday I had one of my best friends come around for what is now known as ‘Pizza Saturday’, which says a lot about my rich choice in foods. When we were dropping them off later, though, I had a weird episode of Deja Vu in the car. I’ve always had weird experiences with this kind of thing, and I don’t even know if it is Deja Vu, maybe it is something else, but whenever it happens I normally either end up talking about having Deja vu inside of my Deja vu, or I leave some kind of message for myself. So, when I was sat in the car, I had the episode and I had a message…

“You have no idea how lucky you are. Youre friends with the planets best person. You better love this person until the end of time, and never lose them”

I then starTed thinking about pirates in the Deja vu for some reason, but I hope you get the idea.

Thanks Odd

Thanks for reading

 : : Ruby ❤ : : 

Ostensibly Preposterous

Around 8 million lightning strikes happened that day.

Around 728,000,000,000,000 heart beats across the globe that day.

Around 21,000,000,000 kisses will be passed that day.

Around two people sat on that bench under their favourite tree, sharing the same pair of earphones that day.

Coincidentally, those two people stayed there for hours in each other’s arms, not realising that the music they were listening to had repeated many a time. Neither of them wanted to leave the others side, so they stayed there for hours, staring out over the still water ahead of them. People who walked past would smile at them, though they enjoyed seeing their love for one another be shown publically, without fear. The people who walked past, they didn’t smile at them for anything else. They didn’t know that the two of them were going to climb Mt Kilimanjaro together to get married, or that they would some day both provide great leaps in cancer research, or that they would at some point create the child who makes the world’s most popular and loved phone. They just knew that they were in love, and that’s all that was needed for the world to smile

The Sides of the Road

I’ve started a new game to play in the mornings when I’m driving to College.

You see, where I live, it isn’t particularly pretty, though there is a small pleasure in this which I have been able to form.

Every morning from now on, I look at all the litter on the sides of my road. Granted, the majority of this for me is fag butts and crisp packets, though perhaps that might give me an advantage over you should you ever try to do this. By the way, litter could even be a sofa that someone has thrown onto the side of the road and dumped, or even what you can see surrounding someone’s bins.

You then have to picture an empty house. Entirely empty, mind, besides walls and floors and, depending if you’re picturing an apartment or an actual house, stairs. You now have to fill your house with the litter that you find. Yup.

I always typically find a tyre somewhere, which I am able to position on the wall as a sort of swing, representative of a chair. Perhaps I find enough pizza boxes to make a table out of them. Maybe I decide to use all of the cigarettes that I find to make an outline for a  path leading up to the house. It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done, this game, but part of me loves it. I’m not sure why.

People don’t count as litter, though. You can’t throw any person you find inside of your house. Believe me, I know.

Eventually, you will probably end up having one of the most amazing houses that you could be aware of, completely recycled. Maybe it will inspire you to make things out of your own rubbish, like those weird craft videos on Facebook which use the weirdest, most irrelevant things to make other things which are supposed to be useful. Yes! Those ones!

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

 

Handcrafted Dreams

I hope this becomes a thing some day.

Handcrafted Dreams would essentially be some kind of website or store which you can go to, and they will make you have a certain dream. This could be the same dream over and over, so say for instance there was a dream which you loved so much that you wish it was recurring, then they’d give you something to allow for this to happen. It could also stop certain types of dreams from occurring, such as nightmares or anything related to certain topics. You could even pay them to forge your own reality within your dream, literally write a story to become your dream. Naturally, they’d stop people from making horrifying dreams etc, else the business would turn bad with pranksters and bullies.

I’d like to write nice dreams for people,  whether they’re ones that I’ve had, or nice things that I’ve come up with. Maybe show people interesting concepts. Perhaps even make games inside of dreams, which would beat virtual reality since they have full control and the person is in no way limited to the dream, they can do what they like within it.

I like to think that it would start to become a way of sending messages to people. Say, for example, for someone’s birthday you gave them a little dream bottle of some kind, and it makes them dream of a happy memory they once had with you, and at the end of it the dream tells them ‘Happy Birthday’. Perhaps someone is feeling down, so you do pass over a happy dream to them. Perhaps someone needs to revise, so they put all of their notes into a dream so that they can revise from in there.

It would create a new form of media for the world, instead of books or movies, you could add dreams onto that list. Picture walking down the aisles of a shop, with thousands of tiny bottles all labelled with different kinds of dreams. Even being able to walk around a shop like that and glance at every label would inspire anyone. To prevent everyone from constantly being asleep, though, there should be a way of making the time within the dream last longer than time in real life. Not only would this allow for people to dream more, but it lets people live an even longer life in their dreams along as whilst awake.

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :

Normally I’d Scream, But It’s Very Late

So I’m going to do just that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

And as such, my scream has ended. Thank you for witnessing it.

 

So, why am I screaming?

It’s because my comments have a spam filter, and I’ve only just realised that not a single comment has been able to get through it. I am so sorry, and I’m going to say a quick thing.

Thank you for being so nice, you all really are. I started this blog not expecting anyone other than my future self to read it, and I’ve already beaten that goal. You’re amazing.

Some people have asked how I made this blog? I picked a theme I liked. I haven’t paid for anything, this blog was completely free to make, and as such I am sure that you can do just as well, if not better. I’d give you tips, but I have no idea whatsoever. I just hit the buttons and went for a grey colour scheme because grey goes well with every colour. The red was because my name is Ruby, so I guess you could pick things that are personal? I’ve seen people use the colour yellow because it is a colour which makes you happy. I’ve seen food blogs which are orange because that colour makes you hungry. I mean, have you seen Nando’s? Everything is orange, but it isn’t at the same time. It must be orange tinted lights or something, since everything is seemingly made out of wood. It’s quite something. Something I don’t do is use pictures very often, it at all. Try that out! That’s the best way to make it personal. The blog doesn’t need to look pretty, it just needs to represent you! Go nuts! Be unique! If you’re interesting in some way then make your blog also interesting in some way! Try spamming exclamation marks, that seems to work for some people! Flick through thousands of blog sites if you have to until certain things from each of them start to stand out to you, maybe you’ll find something that even I missed. But, most importantly, just get a move on! Having a blog which you think looks bad shouldn’t stop you from posting, just go post! Worry about how it looks later. Most people don’t write the title of their post until they finish writing their adventure. Even then, if you don’t know what to write, then there are thousands of places you can go! Just type into Tumblr “writing prompt” and you’ll be off in no time! I always save any ideas that come to me as drafts on here so that I don’t ever open up WordPress and have to stare at it for ages wondering what to write. Perhaps spend a couple of minutes writing down as many ideas as you can. You could even use a random number generator to pick through your drafts, I’ve done that before. Alright… granted I ignored what number they said and chose a draft myself but it’s still possible! Just… I don’t know! Get a move on!

Thanks for reading

: : Ruby ❤ : :