Have you ever wanted to place a slinky at the top of an escalator?
It’s the type of thing I wish I could do, but I just know that someone is either going to steal it when they’re going up the escalator, it’s going to get knocked or it’s going to reach the bottom really fast. This is the type of thing that makes me want to go out and buy an escalator.
But how does one go about doing that? It’s not like escalators are a common thing, you never see them as a replacement for stairs in houses. Hell, most airports can’t even afford escalators which go upwards, they just go longways. What a pity!
I’m going to need to buy an escalator assembly kit off of Amazon, that sounds like a good idea! Or, better yet, I could make one out of Lego! That’d be amazing. I wonder how many pieces that would take, and the price of this given that each lego piece is approximately worth 10p… You know what? I don’t care how much it costs.
Now I just need somewhere to put it. It can’t replace my own stairs in my house, if it’s made out of Lego then there is no way it can support the weight of a person. It can’t replace anything, it would need its own space.
So I’d have to buy a small plot of land in Scotland somewhere. Doesn’t sound too hard, right? Better yet, I would be known as Lord Ruby. That sounds pretty cool if you ask me, and I’m the type of guy who twiddles their fake moustache and adjusts their fake monocle constantly.
Then I’d need to transport everything out there. There’s no way in which I could persuade my parents to drive me all the way to Scotland just to build some Lego for my slinky… I’d probably catch a train given my fear of losing luggage on planes. Even then, I’d need lots of seats in order to have somewhere to put all my boxes of Lego bricks.
After that, I would probably need some people to help me build it. First we would have to design it of course, and then building it would be the fun part. To design it, I would need to become popular enough so that enough people support this idea of mine. How do I become famous?
So I just googled “how to become famous”… Okay, I lied. I clicked on how to become an actress” instead. Don’t judge me, my attention span is crippling me.
You know, then there’s the money that I would need to somehow gain in order to fund all of this. As stupid as it sounds, no one is going to fund this idea.
Then I’d need something to put the escalator under, some kind of roof to prevent rain. Some kind of building to prevent it from being broken or stolen…
You know, I just won’t do it. It’s dumb. I just won’t ever push my slinky down some stairs again.
Just thought it’d be cool if it could never run out of stairs, to be honest.